Tag: God

  • When Sobriety Meets Suffering: Shingles, Pain, and the Power of Staying the Course

    This week has brought me to my knees, literally and spiritually.

    I was diagnosed with shingles, and not just anywhere, on my eye. The pain is excruciating. It feels like someone lit a fire behind my face and it won’t go out. My eye is swollen, my head is throbbing, and every nerve on the left side of my face is screaming. It’s terrifying. Not only because of the physical pain, but because shingles in the eye can threaten your vision. That kind of fear can rattle you to your core.

    And let me be brutally honest: in moments like this, my old self starts whispering to me.
    “Just one drink. Just one cigarette. Just one moment to take the edge off.”

    That was my go-to comfort before. In pain, in panic, in sadness, I numbed. That’s how I survived back then. But now, I’m sober. And I’m not just sober when it’s easy. I’m learning how to be sober when it’s excruciating.

    There’s nothing easy about walking through a health crisis without your old crutches. My body is screaming, my nerves are shot, and my emotions feel like a rollercoaster. I’ve cried from the pain. I’ve cried from the fear. I’ve cried from the sheer exhaustion of holding the line.

    But I’m still holding.

    Because in this moment, I’m not turning to the bottle or the lighter, I’m turning to God.
    To prayer.
    To worship.
    To quiet moments of begging Him to get me through the next hour.

    And He is. He doesn’t always take the pain away. But He does meet me in it.

    I wanted to share this not because I have it all together, I don’t. But because someone out there might be going through their own storm and wondering how to hold on without falling back. This is your reminder: You can. You can do hard things. You can stay sober through the fire. You can cry and still be strong. You can feel broken and still be healing.

    Shingles on my eye may have knocked me down, but it hasn’t taken my sobriety. And it won’t. Because I’ve fought too long and too hard to get here.

    This is just one chapter, not the whole story.

    So I’m choosing faith over fear. Prayer over panic. Sobriety over suffering.

    And if you’re walking through pain too—physical, emotional, spiritual—I’m walking right beside you.

    We don’t have to hide our hard days.
    We don’t have to keep secrets anymore.
    We heal out loud.
    We stay sober—even in the storm.

    With love and honesty,

  • You Will Get There. But Right Now You Are Here. (And Here Is Wonderful)

    I once read a quote that stopped me in my tracks:
    “You will get there. But right now you are here. (And here is wonderful.)”

    It moved me so deeply that I had to pause, breathe it in, and sit with the truth of it. In a world that constantly pushes us toward what’s next, what’s better, or what we “should” be doing, it’s easy to overlook the beauty of right now—of the here.

    The Sobriety Journey Isn’t Just About the Destination

    When I first got sober, I was always looking ahead.
    How many days sober will I be next month?
    When will I feel “normal”?
    When will I stop craving?
    When will I finally feel like I’ve made it?

    I thought healing lived somewhere down the road—something far off I had to chase. But what I’ve come to realize is this: sobriety is not a finish line. It’s a daily walk with God, and every step counts. Every moment matters. Even the messy ones. Especially the messy ones.

    Right now, here, may not be perfect—but it is powerful.

    Learning to Love the Present Moment

    There was a time when I would numb every uncomfortable moment. The quiet felt empty. The stillness felt lonely. I didn’t want to be “here”—I just wanted to escape. But now, I walk the earth with clear eyes, a present heart, and a spirit rooted in peace.

    And that… that’s a miracle.

    Sobriety taught me that here is where life happens. It’s where healing begins. It’s where God meets us in the ordinary moments—early morning coffee, a deep breath, a belly laugh, a tear on your cheek that doesn’t need to be hidden anymore.

    It’s watching your children and actually feeling it.
    It’s being in your own skin and finally being okay with who you are becoming.
    It’s the stillness that used to scare you—now becoming your sanctuary.

    Here is Not the End—But It’s a Gift

    Yes, you will get there.
    You’ll grow stronger.
    You’ll gain wisdom.
    You’ll build the life you’re praying for.

    But don’t miss what God is doing here. Right in this moment. Right in the struggle, the progress, the pause.
    Every sober day is sacred. Every step away from alcohol is a step toward freedom.

    And this version of you—even if you’re still healing, still stretching, still learning—is already a beautiful testimony of God’s grace and your strength.

    A Reminder for You (and for Me)

    You don’t have to have it all figured out today. You don’t need to race toward the next milestone.
    Just take a deep breath and remember:

    💛 You will get there. But right now you are here. And here is wonderful.

    So walk the earth.
    Take it all in.
    And know that you’re already doing something amazing—just by being here, sober, and open to the journey.

    With grace,
    Your Sober Self 🌿